


It's the same as begging in my book

by Ladystiltskin67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Best Friends, Cannon compliant, Dean - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Post-Canon, SPN - Freeform, cas, casdean - Freeform, decade of destiel, implied m/m relationship, praying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 03:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15621060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladystiltskin67/pseuds/Ladystiltskin67
Summary: Castiel had returned to heaven and Dean could only deal for so long





	It's the same as begging in my book

6 months to the date… a half a year. It seems longer. 

 

_ “Hey Cas, hope I'm not bothering you I uh, I know you're probably busy putting things back together up there. I just… I… Some… Something's been eating at me man.  _

 

_ I lied to you when you left. I told you I was happy for you. I'm not. I mean if you're happy then I'm happy… but I'm not. Not really. This is coming out wrong.  _

 

_ Ok I'm just gonna put it out there. I… I miss you. I thought I'd be ok because I know you're alive, and you've got your wings back, and you got to go home. I know you missed it. But buddy it sucks here without you.  _

 

_ I'm…  Damn it why is this so hard… . I don't think I'm ok. No. I know I'm not. I think Sam knows too but he doesn't say anything. They're all treating me like a… Like I might… I just wish I would have been honest with you. I wish you would have stayed.  _

 

_ I wish I wasn't so stubborn. I wish I could have told you that I… That you were… Are… wanted… loved.  _

 

_ I feel stupid for sitting here crying and praying to you like it makes a difference. I'm sorry Cas. For everything. Hell, even for telling you this because I know I have no right. But it's late and the bunker feels so empty now. Even with mom and Jack and Bobby it's just not the same.  _

 

_ I hope you can forgive me.” _

 

Morning came without Dean's consent.  _ Another day without you.  _

 

As he slowly made his way to the kitchen for coffee he heard a slight knock on the bunker door. Drawing a gun from under the table he made his way up the stairs. Standing on the landing to take a deep breath before facing what awaited him, he gathered his wits and cleared the last of the fog from his mind. He opened the door only to drop the gun at his feet. 

 

“Hello Dean.”


End file.
